Astramillie’s Weblog

Just a girl who’s bipolar trying to figure out her world

Love Hate relationship with seroquel April 12, 2009

I’ve been reading a lot of negative blogs about Seroquel. Most I agree with to a point. Astrazeneca is a large pharm co. that worries primarily with the bottom line. Seroquel has some pretty evil side effects. I’ve put on weight and worse I’m now pre-diabetic. The diabetes link has been known about for years withfew warnings given to patients. Bad.
Here is why I stayed on it – it helped my mania better than any other med hands down. I only take it at night so the sedation meant I wasn’t taking sleeping pills.
Yes, I will be going off it if my diet change hasn’t affected my diabetic status. But, I wanted to give another perspective.

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The days of the spinster end

Filed under: Uncategorized — astramillie @ 2:53 pm
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I’ve been away from my blog for a long time.  I’ve had quite a few life changes.  I’ve already given the health update, my psychiatric situation is in flux, but the biggest change is that I’ve moved in with my boyfriend.  Yikes!

At 39 its a little late in life to lear how to live with someone else when I’ve lived alone most of my adult life.  I’ve been feeling that I don’t have the tools that are necessary for a successful relationship.  I’m learning though, J. is to important to me not to.

Now, we haven’t been together for very long.  In all actuality we should have been eachother’s transitional relationships.  Both of us having each ending a relationship recently when we got together.  But, it was just right.  Why fight it?

There are times when I get so irritated  I want to leave, but it passes because I guess I love him and want this to work.  I just feel like my personal space has been trespassed upon.  Our new house is big enough to get away, and I comandeered the office for my own.

On the other hand, I love the domestication of it.  Making dinner for him.  Doing the laundry.  Weird stuff is making me…well…content.  Don’t get me wrong, sometimes that contentment feels so foreign its uncomfortable.  Sometimes I bait him just to get a response (not very healthy I know).  Other times it is  just the perfect thing to just sit quietly together on the couch, each of us with our laptops in a companionable silence.

No, I’ll never give him children.  But, I gave him a dog and two cats he loves.  He takes care of me when my back is in pain, I’m trying to give him a real home.  Its all a lesson in real life and I think I’m rolling with it.

 

Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Bad Back and anything else that can go wrong!

Filed under: Mental Health,mental illness,Uncategorized — astramillie @ 1:17 pm
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I haven’t been writing at all lately.  Horrible block.  But, I have some things to write about right now.  Where to start?

OK, I’ve been on Seroquel for about 8 years.  Started taking it before it was even approved for Bipolar.  I have even given speeches praising it.  Well, that has come back to kick me in the ass.  Last blood test showed sure enough I might be joining the Diabetes club.  My levels are only at pre-diabetes numbers right now – but that’s enough to scare me into changing my diet and talk to the P-Doc about  switching meds even though I love my Seroquel. 

How can I love something that has a track record of causing a horrible illness while fixing another?  That’s the key – it fixes me.  My mania is almost non existent when I take it regularly.  Next blood test is in May, we’ll see if my sugars have been affected by my new diet (here’s a plus – its helped me lose 10 lbs!) and if I have to go cold turkey on the Seroquel if there has been no change.  Or, G-d forbid I’ve moved into actual diabetes.

The other thing that the blood work found was “critically high” LDL Cholesterol.  So, I’mworking on a low cholesterol diet as well as an anti-diabetes diet.  Scary, but not as scary as the diabetes.  We’ll know more in May.

Now, I’m Samantha so the whining can’t stop there.  My back is killing me.  For real, not some sort of hypochondriacal (word?) twinge that I’ve blown out of proportion.  I am generally spending large portions of my day flat on my back.  My last cortisone shot didn’t work.  Its now progressed from lower back to middle and I’m getting sharp pain down my right leg and arm.  I’m having two MRIs on Wednesday so we’ll know something by the end of the week.

So there you go Samantha’s health update.  There is more to update everyone on (big stuff on the relationship front), I’ll write that in another post.