Astramillie’s Weblog

Just a girl who’s bipolar trying to figure out her world

Whine, Whine, Whine October 24, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — astramillie @ 11:29 am
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OK, I’m blocked.  Unable to write anything whether its for this blog or school work.  I’m going to try to break through this with some lists and quotes I have pinned to the walls of my office.  Speaking of…if anyone came into the office not knowing me they might think it belonged to someone plotting something, or not taking their meds.

I fell in love with quotes a few months ago and compile a list each week.  I send them to my grandmother and she uses them at the retirement home she lives in for her current event time.  The best are printed out and pinned to my wall, often with a picture of the person who made the quote.  At this time I’m running out of room. 

“Clothes make the man.  Naked men have little or no influence on society.”  Mark Twain

“I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.”  Kurt Vonnegut


Things wrong in my life (no particular order):

1.  I’m in a walking cast due to tendonitis.

2.  My mother’s back is so bad she can barely walk and they just postponed her surgery to December (the asses).

3.  I was just diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, which is basically how it started with mom, and they are already talking surgery (which I will refuse at this point regardless of the pain I’m in).

4. Problems with my isister that I’m not allowed to blog about.

5.  Had to drop one of my classes, so now I won’t graduate in May like I wanted to.

6.  Major writer’s block

7.  Trying to get rid of boyfriend, he won’t take no for an answer.


Good things?

1.  Meds working pretty well – any depression I feel is situational and can not be medicated.

2.  Getting along with parents

3.  I have made a few friends in the last 6 months

Really, that’s all.


“Howard Hughes was able to afford the luxury of madness, like  man who not only thinks he is Napoleon but hires an army to prove it.”  Ted Morgan


Where I’ve been October 5, 2008

Filed under: Mental Health,mental illness,Uncategorized — astramillie @ 6:06 pm
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I haven’t written since before the hysterectomy.  I’ve been blocked.  The surgery went very well – the fibroid was honestly as big as a grapefruit.  Why do we always use fruit as our gauge?

I was getting fuzzy headed so the p. doc took me off Topomax.  The change is amazing, clear head, getting things done, and I have my short term memory back.  Yay!

Doing well this semester but I was reminded that I have a limited amount of RAM.  I was taking two classes and at the same time organizing Obama events.  Nothing was getting done well.  I was just spread to thin, I don’t have the capacity others have.  I can only concentrate on one big thing at a time.  Dropped one of the classes and gave up on my career as a campaign organizer.  Hopefully he wins without my daily help.

I even attempted a relationship – didn’t work.  I really am a spinster at heart.  I’m all for casual dating, but I don’t have it in me right now to put the proper work into a serious relationship.  But, that’s ok.  I have the dog, the two cats, and buddy the betta.  I also have a rat – but I’m looking for a new home for him, I can’t play with him like he deserves.  He’s going to live with a pre-teen boy, I hope. 

That’s all for now, just an update.  More to come…